Even More Conspiracy Theories of Haruhi Suzumiya - Christmas Edition

[goddoesntknow]

So.

Santa Claus.

Jolly fat man who delivers presents to all the good little boys and girls, or something more sinister?

I've been pondering this for awhile, and have come to a conclusion...

Santa is, in fact, an alien. No other creature on earth could live that long. OR TRAVEL THAT FAST. The presents and gifts are a facade, a ruse to lure us into a false sense of security, so that we turn away while his true intentions are put into motion.

Some may question whether or not he exists, but I am convinced he, in fact, travels the globe as a means of mapping it, and surveying things. Taking a look at various superpowers' defenses so that when the centuries of preparation is complete, they have an up-to-date assessment of our strengths and weaknesses when the invasion inevitably comes.

Sure, he might bring presents.

But at what cost? AT WHAT COST?!

...

Which, hey, nothing we have to worry about HERE, but I figured everyone deserves a fair warning. ^_^

Comments

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[ponchotexas.livejournal.com]

Yeah, yeah, doesn't sound like it's worth the risk.

ESPers? Sorry, that one went over my head.

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[onlysaneguy.livejournal.com]

Glad to see you agree.

ESPers, people with special powers. Except they can only use them in closed space back home.

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[ponchotexas.livejournal.com]

I've been doin' the CSI thing long enough to know when a risk is stupid and when it's not.

Not that it stops you from running after people with guns.

You've been listening to Greg again, haven't you?

Mhm!

... whatever. Anyway, what's closed space then?

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[onlysaneguy.livejournal.com]

Closed Space is... Well, it's a pocket of space created when Suzumiya is mad, or sad, or... Augh, how did Koizumi explain it to me...

Pretty much it's a bubble of space that Haruhi creates with her subconscious when she's upset and if it gets to big? The whole world is pretty much screwed.

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[ponchotexas.livejournal.com]

So like a... whatsit... Archie mentioned this once... pocket dimension?

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[onlysaneguy.livejournal.com]

That's probably the simplest way to explain them, yeah.

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[ponchotexas.livejournal.com]

And she can make them, and doesn't even know she's doing it? That's pretty damn weird...

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[onlysaneguy.livejournal.com]

Yep. ... She thrives on weird, too bad she can't know about it.

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[ponchotexas.livejournal.com]

Sounds like it, given her odd theory about Santa. No wonder she loves the 'loids so much. Right up her alley.

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[onlysaneguy.livejournal.com]

Until she gets bored of them, that is.

Re: [locked from Haruhi]

[ponchotexas.livejournal.com]

I'unno. Kinda hard to get bored of 'em, considering new ones come along all the time it seems. Plus, come on, have you seen how cute some of them are? Miku's like a big ball of adorable.