So, let's assume I believe you, on the off chance you're not screwing with me again.

You're saying that, basically, you're a time traveler. Effectively.

Bored...

...bored...

...

[thunk]

Annoyed.

Bored.

...

You know what?

Screw it.

[a clatter of the D-Comm being deposited on a desk, footsteps walking off, followed by a frantic Patamon]

H- Haruhi-sama! HARUHI-SAMA, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!

So.

Santa Claus.

Jolly fat man who delivers presents to all the good little boys and girls, or something more sinister?

I've been pondering this for awhile, and have come to a conclusion...

Santa is, in fact, an alien. No other creature on earth could live that long. OR TRAVEL THAT FAST. The presents and gifts are a facade, a ruse to lure us into a false sense of security, so that we turn away while his true intentions are put into motion.

Some may question whether or not he exists, but I am convinced he, in fact, travels the globe as a means of mapping it, and surveying things. Taking a look at various superpowers' defenses so that when the centuries of preparation is complete, they have an up-to-date assessment of our strengths and weaknesses when the invasion inevitably comes.

Sure, he might bring presents.

But at what cost? AT WHAT COST?!

...

Which, hey, nothing we have to worry about HERE, but I figured everyone deserves a fair warning. ^_^

JUST SO EVERYONE IS CLEAR.

THIS is not an alien. Aliens would never announce themselves in such a public manner! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT.

Vadermon are also not aliens. They are just Digimon that evolve into things that LOOK like aliens. That's like saying my Patamon's actually a servant of God. C'mon, now!

And yes, I'm quite aware there are transforming giant alien robots and things like that here. But they're old hat.

I'm interested in THIS world's aliens, since they've obviously never been seen.

AS SUCH.

I will be devoting my resources in between my DATS duties, honest! towards conducting research proving their existence, in light of such overwhelming evidence.

That is all.

...

Mikuru-chan's frozen.

...

Dammit. I can't rightfully go into even a mock battle without our mascot character!

...

TRAINING IS ON HOLD FOR NOW.

...

At least it's a good chance to try out some new outfits for her!

[ooc - Strikes locked. Poorly.]

So, apparently, the Digimon running the Trailmon terminal nearest Royal Base doesn't want to sanction my training.

Hn! Try to take the official route, and see where that gets you?

Apparently, they got really upset about a year and a half ago when some punk kid ended up punching Trailmon off the tracks.

He was rude, too. Hung up on me after a told him, "THAT'S THE POINT."

However, it's just a minor roadbump! Just gotta figure out the best way to get around this technicality...

Here.

Somehow these all got sent to me.

[ATTACHED TO KYON, MIKURU, KOIZUMI, NAGATO AND... ODDLY, ASHTON ANCHORS: Invoices for bills to be paid for various 'goods and services.' All in all, though, if one got them together and added them up, they would find they strangely match up with the total amount of BITs Haruhi put down to win Kyon during the Valentine's Day auction. Despite the fact that poor Mikuru paid for half of it, ANYWAY. And, well, further investigation would prove the invoices all fake.]

You can thank me later.

[ooc - Obviously, no one has to ACTUALLY pay anything here if you don't want your characters to.

But c'mon.

You had to know this was coming sooner or later.]

This is the WORST.

VIRUS.

EVER.

Seriously. Turning Digimon and really cool things like robots and monsters into humans?! THAT'S NOT UNIQUE. THAT'S NOT SPECIAL.

At least I got SOMETHING out of the sins virus. >_>

FAIL.

PATAMON CAN'T EVEN EVOLVE. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HIM NOW?

Though I could always try appealing to the shota crowd, I suppose. Hm.

[ooc - This is Haruhi, so. Strikes are fail. Additionally, don't take her bitching too seriously - again. This is Haruhi, and the last thing she's going to like to see is MORE normal people. XD; ]

SOS Brigade, FALL IN! NOT LITERALLY, MIKURU.

Look at everything that's been happening!

Old Man Satsuma nearly getting killed, Fujieda and that Rena girl getting nabbed by Kurata's goons, the bombing!

And what are we doing, while all this is going on?!

Losing pants?
"Falling" into things?
Sitting on our asses?!

THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH. And as Unit 1 Commander and Brigade Chief, I'll be damned if I let it go any further!

From this point on, we're putting every effort into finding that whackjob and everyone who's lives he's screwing up, and using every resource we have to do so!

Complaints?

...

Take them up with Kyon.

...

Someone wanna tell me what the hell went on here the other night?